television
Negative Product Placement
I know a person who worked in the product-placement field. Specifically, he worked for a major company who arranged a media-buy with a television show. He worked in Hollywood, on the set of the show to make sure that his companies products were positioned correctly on-screen and with the logo visible.
From this gentleman, (actually he wasn’t that gentle. he was like a bull in a china shop wearing orthopedic shoes) i learned that media buys work like this:
- Companies pay the show a set dollar amount for simply mentioning or referencing their product.
- There is a bonus payout if you speak positively about the product or use it in a way that is clearly of benefit to the character.
Lately however, I’ve been noticing a whole lot of negative-mentions on tv and movies… leading me to believe that a lot of these producers have their hands tied by their parent companies, and if they must include a product placement, they’re going to do it as sarcastically as possible.
Some examples:
SouthPark:
Doctor: Well, there’s no doubt in my mind, Mr. Marsh. Youuu arrre constipated. [walks over to a table]
Randy: [quite aware] Thanks for the news flash! I haven’t taken a crap in over three weeks! The question is why?!
Doctor: Well, what food have you been eating?
Randy: P.F. Chang’s, mostly. [rubs his belly] Good stuff.
Weeds:
Nancy: You bought a Prius?
U-Turn: I bought seven of ‘em! I got my whole crew drivin’ em. They’re real quiet. Good for sneakin’ up on motherfuckers!
Also from Weeds (and one of my all-time favorites)
Doug: Why aren’t you eating?
Nancy: I told you I ate already.
Doug: Where?
Nancy: The Olive Garden
Doug: I wouldn’t take a dump in the Olive Garden.
Nancy: I like the hot artichoke spinach dip.
Doug: I can’t even look at you.
The bottom line for me is… i think media-buys are in the “ultimate evil” category and i’m glad that artists aren’t taking this shit sitting down. There are plenty of examples out there of shameless product placement (like the McDonalds date on Sex and the City) but at least when they do it tongue-in-cheek, it’s a bit more tolerable.
In closing, i offer you these clips from 30 rock:
30 Rock Snapple Placement
30 Rock Verizon Placement
30 Rock consistently turns their product placements into commentaries about the whole situation. They never speak negatively of their contributors or their products, but they do manage to come off as snarky as possible while being complete whores about it. Alec Baldwin’s character even goes so far as to say “like it or not, product integration is here to stay” or something to that effect. I don’t know if i approve. But i do appreciate the wit.
The Last Episode of Dollhouse
Alright, let’s talk about it dammit. That the final episode was wholly unsatisfying to me in so many different ways… I CAN’T STOP finding inconsistencies in that story. It’s just a goldmine of bullshit. Here are some of the highlights…
(yes that’s a spoiler alert!)
The Production:
First things first, how bad was that firefight scene in the beginning? One of the first things i liked about this show was the attention to detail in the fight choreography. The first episode showed Ballard in a genuinely engaging fistfight… i can 0nly assume they were rushed for time on this one because it felt like another show altogether. The quality was more on par with a B-movie on the sci fi channel. If you need to cut corners, fine… but it also dragged ON and ON, ending in Ballard getting killed. Which brings me to…
The Plot:
They killed Ballard. Didn’t they JUST use that plot device on us a few episodes ago? What, is he like Kenny on South Park now? “They killed Ballard! You bastards!” Well O.K., he didn’t exactly DIE last time, but Alpha fried his brain in that chair. Then they re-imprinted him with his own (older) personality on his new active architecture and for what? Just to kill him again in the beginning of the last episode? In arch-typical terms, Ballard was “The Hero” but they gunned him down like a stormtrooper. No it’s not enough that his imprint gets to live in Echo’s skull now. The hero never gets to complete his evolution to the sage.
SO many charcter-arcs were left unresolved. For as much time as they spent building up these character’s individual dramas and getting us to care, they sure hung us out to dry on reaching closure with any of them. The most glaring of which was the Victor/Sierra conclusion.
Do you REALLY expect us to believe that Victor would leave Sierra and their child for ANY reason whatsoever? You could argue that the new state of the world was a huge deal and caused Victor’s priorities to change, but they spent the entire duration of the show proving to us that they need to be with each other on some level that transcends their personalities. They were in love, no matter what or who they were imprinted with, and even when they were UN imprinted. One time Victor stood in the same spot all day because she told him to wait there for her.
So why would he leave her and their BABY to run off with his new cyberpunk homies (who drive around in Goliath from Knight Rider) just to have them turn on him in the same episode they’re introduced? Victor and Sierra’s arch-type “The Lovers” is sacrificed for some completely disposable plot-device, just like Ballard’s. Enver Gjokaj (Victor) has shown over and over again that he is a virtual chameleon of an actor, able to impersonate other characters in shocking detail! (his performance as Topher deserves recognition) Why not do something impressive with THAT instead?
Topher’s ending, on the other hand, probably disappointed me the most. He was my favorite character on the show. He cracked me up on every episode, and to see him so demolished in part 1 of this debacle (Epitaph 1) made me really sad. I was hoping that they would rectify some of that in Epitaph 2 but nope… they killed him off too. He figured out how to undo all this mess and heal the world, right? Isn’t that a good-enough reason for Topher to live happily ever after?
Oh that’s right he can’t… because the device can’t be triggered remotely. Why? Are you telling me that TOPHER: SUPER ULTRA MEGA GENIUS can wire up an electrical device to cause some kind of never-before-heard-of explosion that emits gamma rays or some shit that heals the whole planet in a matter of seconds but CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE A REMOTE TRIGGER? What could POSSIBLY be the obstacle here? Does it take a living soul to run it? Or hot human blood and you can’t find a thermos? What the FUCK? How about stupid string hanging from the switch and down the stairs or something? Or out Adelle’s window? He even had time to sit there and ponder that shit on the wall when he could’ve been running.
Don’t tell me Topher had PTSD and just WANTED to die. That’s no excuse for writing him that way. Killing off your main characters for reasons that can be avoided is the hallmark of bad storytelling. So is the Deus Ex Machina which is what Topher’s magic fix totally was.
Adelle: “You can fix all this?”
Topher: “Sure i just need to watch this video of Bennett real quick and BAM… solder right there. Done. Let’s push the button and save the world”
Adelle: “Where does the device need to be?”
Topher: “High up. The higher the better.”
Adelle: “How about the top of this building we’re in?”
Topher: “That’ll work!”
Adelle: “How can our friends here avoid being affected?”
Topher: “They need to be deep underground. The deeper the better.”
Adelle: “How about the bottom of this building we’re in?”
Topher: “That’ll work!”
So effing convenient. Zero thought was put into creating believable reasons for anything. Like how suddenly all was forgiven with Alpha. They never really explained that one. He’s just mysteriously nice now… which is plausible in the Dollhouse universe i guess but why is everyone all hugging him? “Aw hey, I’m sorry about cutting up your face and all…” HE should’ve been leading that cyberpunk crew instead of Victor and gone back to the dollhouse to raid the collection of imprints with them.
I feel like I have a head full of unreleased sneezes. If the show had always been this bad, it wouldn’t bother me so much. Because i would not have been watching it. But on the bright side, at least this time they were given a chance to wrap it up. We won’t be left hanging for years like we were with Firefly… although a well-written Dollhouse movie on a Serenity scale would have been worth the wait.
From everything I’ve seen, I am pretty sure that the show could have done a lot better if it had been marketed by people who understood it’s complexity and knew how to pitch it, but the ever-narrowing minds of the networks and their complete lack of patience has resulted in yet another knee-jerk reaction and another Whedon production taken down before it had a chance to really blossom… and a rushed last-episode that totally damaged the integrity of the entire vision.
Back Door Bragging
from an episode of 30 Rock i saw the other day:
Kenneth: The personal essay is way harder than I thought, cause it’s not in my nature to brag on myself.
Jenna: Not even a back door brag?
Kenneth: What’s a back door brag?
Jenna: Backdoor bragging is sneaking something wonderful about yourself in everyday conversation. Like when I tell people it’s hard for me to watch American Idol cause I have perfect pitch. You try it!
Back door bragging… now that they’ve brought it to my attention, it’s all i hear. It seems like just about everybody does a little back door bragging from time to time… Others do it almost continuously and never even realize it.
In my ongoing quest to be a better person, often i am stopped dead in my tracks by the realization that somehow i have fallen off my path… and i am humbled all over again… which is frustrating because, just when you think you are on the path to enlightenment, you realize how far away from the goal you really are. This 30 Rock episode brought me to yet another one of these epiphanies… this back door bragging thing is a new hurdle, previously camouflaged by my own ego. How often have i done it? Have i ever been looked down upon at my job because of it? It’s like suddenly i’ve taken a microscope to all the minutia of my behavior.
The other night i rewrote an email 4 times before sending it, taking great care to remove every instance of back door bragging… and i was constantly amazed at how it would rear it’s ugly head in a new form, every time i tried to remove it. I finally got it right… but man, i cut the length of my email nearly in half. I was worried that all i’d have left to say is “lol” or something… but as luck would have it, i really do have real things to say… it just takes a while to undress them sometimes.
It depends on the audience too… you are probably not at risk of back door bragging in the company of certain friends… but just wait until you run into your ex one morning on your way to work… before you’ve had your coffee… on the one day you dressed like a total ass-clown… yeah chances are your insecurities are going to kick in, and some bragging is gonna slip out your back door… another good reason to invest in adult diapers now.
They say that within a demon’s name lies it’s power. And now i get what that means. Now that THIS demon has a name, i have conscious control over it. It’s important that i don’t back door brag, considering how enlightened i am to begin with… more than most people, actually. People often compare me to ghandi and it wouldn’t be very becoming of me to start back door bragging now. I probably only did it a FEW times anyway… which was probably due to the enormous stress that comes with being such a positive role model. It’s hard for someone like me to rest, you understand, because when you’re everyone’s favorite, people just constantly need your attention. Why just the other day i was blessing this baby while saving a cat from a burning tree… ah nevermind.
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