Scenes From a Weird Evening

During Dinner At My Mother’s Place:

Me: I gotta go Ma… I’m meeting a friend.
Mom: Boy or Girl?
Me: Girl.
Mom: Where?
Me: Downtown.
Mom: She is hooker?!

At The Gas Station By My House:

Man Talking to Himself (but for other people’s benefit) While Pumping Gas Into a Beat Up Convertible 90s Oldsmobile and Obviously High on Some Manner of Meth: All right man….. heh…. yeah….. got a full tank of gas…. a pocket full of cash….. fuckin twelve pack…. ha…. (replaces pump handle and gets in his car while watching me out of the corner of his eye) ready to party man…. let’s go to the strip club! AWRIGHT!!! (starts the engine and peels out with one wheel… out of the gas station parking lot… all the way up the street with the rear shocks dippin’)

Some Corner Facing West In Midtown:

Bicycling Asian Girl I Almost Ran Over: …..  (sees life flash before eyes)
Me: …..  (whispering: “Sorry…”)