Thanks to budget cuts, our cupboards at work are getting barer by the day. The nuts and raisins bin is empty. The multi-grain bread has been replaced with a sad solitary loaf of generic white bread. And the somehow-mandatory supply of chicken flavored cup-o-noodles has been replenished with the most ridiculous collection of shrimp flavored cup-o-noodles i’ve ever seen. Old Mother Hubbard is having a laugh at me. It’s the same price right? Why shrimp? In case an auditor comes through here and looks in the cupboards? “yup… they’re not splurging… nobody would buy shrimp cup-o-noodles voluntarily.”
Anyway… my coworker and i have been joking about it ever since we found this recipe online… so she says to me “Hey i think you KNOW what this means. The universe is trying to tell you to make that bisque.”
“Dammit” i say. For she is right.
Here’s how it works:
1. go to kitchen and open shrimp cup o noodle package
2. peel back lid.
3. pour milk into cup up to line.
4. shake head in disbelief.
5. covertly stand in front of microwave so nobody sees what you’re doing.
6. clean up milk that has boiled over and reduce power of microwave to 50%
7. add a little water
8. throw away epic failure of a lunch… start over.
9. eat some chips while “bisque” cooks for 2nd time.
10. bring concoction back to desk… realize you have lost your appetite completely… leave steaming hot bowl of japanese crackhead food on coworker’s desk and go on about your day.
Yeah you’re gonna have to try it yourself. I am afraid. Two things i can’t stand man… milk and shrimp-flavored cup-o-noodles. This is what they feed inmates in the phillipines. I’ll have coffee instead.
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