Hallway Eye Contact Etiquette

Eye contact is a funny thing. When I’m in an interview or something, i have really good control over my eye contact. I spend several seconds looking into each person’s eyes and smiling… making it like I’m speaking only to them… but passing a coworker or a friend in the hallway? Things get a little weird.

Imagine you and i are about to pass each other in a hallway like two ships in the night… In the above image, the blue arrow represents your path… the reddish arrow represents my path… and the dotted line shows where the fuck my gaze travels as my brain desperately tries to excuse itself for being there with you.

Strange how that works. It’s the same thing as when I’m DJing. If it’s for a room full of strangers, i don’t even break a sweat (unless things go really wrong)… but if it’s for a small room full of close friends, i’m a nervous wreck. It has something to do with knowing you’ll see those people again, and with caring about what they think of you.

So when i see you coming down the hall, i acknowledge you first… then i do that shoegaze thing… followed by a wandering interest in the pattern on the wall. At around point (A) on the line, i realize how weird i must look to you so i look back over to you and make eye contact again… i smile at you. 9 times out of 10 we will have some kind of exchange… but that 10th time you just stare back… no smile… no words… and then i’m checking out the sound deadening tiles on the ceiling… my cell phone… the fire extinguisher…

A little eye contact makes a huge difference in things like client-meetings… sales pitches… presentations… so why am i good at doing it for those strangers but not you? Maybe i’m only outgoing for as long as i absolutely need to be. Maybe once you’re my friend, i am comfortable with sliding right back into my shell.

I like to do the bare minimum

Next week on I’m a Fucking Mess: “Who opens the door to the restaurant when you arrive at it simultaneously with your same-sex friend?”

Tags: haw, psychology

1 Comment to Hallway Eye Contact Etiquette

1. 

   i don’t like to look into my friend’s eyes… i’m afraid they will steal my soul…

   anyway, yeah hallways are awkward… i like you in and out of your shell… yr the same guy to me either way man…
   phoeniX on November 16th, 2008
 

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