Amazon Fucking RULES

THING THAT RULES #1:
www.amazon.com/Uranium-Or…pd_sbs_misc

This was funny enough… but look down a little further at “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought:”…. Yes I’d like some forbidden legos and a futurama dvd with my radioactive isotope please.

But wait! Look right above that at “Better Together”… you can buy Uranium Ore WITH Forbidden Legos (the Models Your Parents Warned You Against) for only $46.42!

Actually that Forbidden Legos book looks awesome! So far, from what i can tell, it’s all automatic projectile weapons… but that does raise the interesting question… “Who buys this together with Uranium Ore?”… kinda scary.

THING THAT RULES #2
www.amazon.com/JL421-Bado…pd_sbs_misc

Found it futher down on the same page under “Customer who viewed this item also viewed:” right next to Dr John’s Famous Pee Pee and Duncan Hines Classic Yellow Cake.

A brief read reveals that this thing runs on an air-cooled gasoline engine… NOT the uranium, thank god…

I would TOTALLY own this device. I would TOTARRY mob the fuck out of this thing on the playa… not for $20K or anything… but for cheaper. It looks like Jabba the Hutt’s Mini-Me’s Sand Barge. Not only that, if you look down a little you’ll notice that customers who bought items like this tank also bought mad crotchless panties which totally makes sense. I mean it has to get hot inside that thing right? When you kidnap your mini Princess Leia you have to have the right gear to dress her up in for when she sits at the foot of your slab.

So the plan for burning man this year is as follows…

1. Pick up giant bag of legos from mom’s house.
2. Build Badokadonk Land Cruiser replica out of legos
3. Buy uranium ore and crotchless panties
4. Kidnap midget Carrie Fisher
5. Sit on concrete slab and eat frogs while demanding Solo and the wookie.

1 Comment

• 
  SeventhSwami October 8, 2008 at 11:28 am

  9 Comments add a comment

  resynthesize

  49 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 9:37 AM
  haha, I actually bought that forbidden legos book for ethan for christmas last year. It is pretty sweet but most of the parts are from technics sets and we don’t have most of the pieces. I figure he will appreciate it more as he gets older though. It also has a cool intro from the authors who were both master builders for legos at one point or another about working for lego and having unlimited supplies of every brick available for prototyping
  delete this comment

  Pablo

  112 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 9:42 AM
  A) Some of the models in that set are RAD…see the video of the gun! SEE IT!!

  2) I went to college with and knew the guys that made the ‘donk. It is very cramped inside.
  delete this comment

  Bo

  287 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 9:45 AM
  The reviews on the tank crack me up…
  delete this comment

  Pablo

  112 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 10:16 AM
  By the way…
  one of the “also looked ats” at the bottom when I looked at the ‘donk was http://www.amazon.com/Fishnet-Pi…_misc_img_9
  (nsfw)
  delete this comment

  mike

  9 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 12:01 PM
  Leave it to Resynthesize to focus on the legos out of everything in this blog!
  delete this comment

  Evinrude

  408 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 1:35 PM

  I have a uranium-containing marble that fluoresces really nicely.

  You can get ‘em here (and this is a great site for all your radioactive-product-purchasing needs): http://www.pocketrad.com/

  delete this comment

  Evinrude

  408 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 1:36 PM

  OMG. My next purchase: http://www.pocketrad.com/product_info.php

  delete this comment

  Ms.Dynomite

  259 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 5:02 PM
  I’ve known about the Badokadonk for a while. my favorite thing about that page is the HUGE number of people who “also bought” teeny g-string undies with it. as if with a thousand pound land cruiser you need to be concerned with the added weight of your underwear. I mean who logs in in the morning and says “ok, so we need a tank land cruiser and a gross of the smallest underwear on earth…. check”
  delete this comment

  Swami

  263 Tue, April 8, 2008 – 5:34 PM
  “due to new weight-saving measures, please wear crotchless underwear”

  yeah i’ll buy that